iRegret.net

I regret how bad I have felt about myself for most of my life. I regret not being a better friend to myself and following my gut more often. I am a pleaser. I want everyone to like me and in doing so I lose myself. Sometimes I lose others too. But how do I just start liking myself? Easier said than done. I have read a good bit of self-help that recommends stopping yourself everytime that you criticize your self. Okay, reasonable. I’ll try it. What else? Forgive myself when I think I have made a mistake. Just let it go when I have made a minor mistake and forgive myself for major ones. This is hard work, daily work, work that may last a life time. I will have this record here for me to review when I need to be kinder to myself.  I spend so much time trying to be the compassionate pardoner to others that I repremad myself when I feel angry when others do hurtful things.  But I can’t control other people. I can let them know when I feel taken advantage of. I can let them know that their promises do mean a lot to me when they let me down. I can have standards about the way I wish to be treated while also being forgiving to others when they do not keep promises.

Submitted by: To me

I regret becoming involved with a person that I met casually and even initially wanted as a friend. I may have even approached her first about a get together — hard to remember the details. While I find myself caring for someone because she has a tough home life, I do not like being needed/wanted by her. I don’t enjoy her company  yet I find myself doing things with her.  I also need friends but I feel strangled in this relationship.

I have compassion for her circumstances but there is no flow.  I welcome comments to this post.

Submitted by: Dani

To my children. I am sorry that I hurt you and that you got taken away from me and that you had to go through all that crap. To my girls I will get you back from your father and to my son I hope that one day you’ll forget that you were in foster care. The drugs were never more important than you, I just got caught with a lot of pot. I have quit now so I could get you back and I have got you back my son. Next is you my two beautiful girls. It’s been three years and a whole lot of heart break but it’s almost over. I love all three of you with everything in me and I will do whatever it takes. Love you, Mom

Submitted by: Clorenda Yeager

Mother: Please don’t feel guilty about me anymore. You prefer my little sister to me. Your baby. You can’t help it. I know now, after all these years, it’s just that you two are a better fit. It used to break my heart, but now I know it’s just life and that there are so many people who choose me first, with whom I fit. I love you; you love me. You worry for me here in the city. You think I’m too young to be so alone. You wish you could be a better mother. Stop. No more regrets like this. For either of us. You’ve been the best. I’m strong, just like you when Dad left us. You’re human. We all have favorites. We all have weaknesses. I’ll love you no matter what. You encouraged me to dance, and now I’m making a go of it here. I owe you that and lots, lots more.

Submitted by: Eve

i regret that team america was ever made. damn what a bad movie.

Submitted by: David

I regret we let Hillary Clinton go — Obama has raised expectations so high that they’re likely to fall and perhaps take him and his promise with it, terminally. Hillary is no angel but she’s not pretending to be something she’s not or, really, she can’t pretend or not very effectively — she’s a politician, first and foremost. She thrills to the fight. She gets dirty, has to. Poor Obama won’t know what to do when people begin to show disappointment. He forgets the job doesn’t require him to be a prophet but rather to be a custodian.

Submitted by: Betsy

I regret being so venomous to you, JD. Those words I can never amend, I’m sorry. I really needed a friend that week, maybe asked too much from you. Sorry too for bothering you so often, it’s just that I loved hearing your voice, soft yet strong. You were right when you said I needed to find peace. I felt that you didn’t want me close but didn’t want me gone, for more than the obvious reasons. Wish I could erase everything. I know it’s too late and you will prob never see this, I needed to say sorry though. U r not a snake. I am not a heartbreaker, am broken hearted. –AB aka psycho

I couldn’t stand it. I felt so alone and so immature and so, i don’t know, unworthy. I had to do it, even though it’s put me in a whole situation that i don’t know how i’ll get out of. I’m sorry i told you i was pregnant. I’m sorry that i made up the whole story, from beginning to end, and i’m sorry that i’m still a virgin. I know that that will disappoint you if you ever find out. I’m sorry that i faked the pregnancy test, took a whole shitload of cough syrup before hand, even dabbed some on the peestick. I’m sorry if I worried you, even though you seemed like you couldn’t have cared less. I’m sorry I’m a fantastic liar.

Submitted by: ER

Blake, I regret giving you this much of my life. I regret giving you the chance to be “more” and a 6 day trial. More over, I’m sorry I listened to you when you said you’re kind, honorable and unlike “him.” I regret continuing to give you choice over “him” and I regret that I do so knowingly each time. I regret that I let you disrespect me and my feelings while I constantly try to respect yours.

Bradley, I regret I let Blake down-talk you. I regret not giving you the real shot at being “more.” I regret that I wasn’t there for you when you really needed a friend. I regret, even though it’s not my fault, the actions of everyone who has hurt you–and those actions that have lead you to keep people out and prevent you from loving. I regret calling myself your “friend” when I have been anything but. And I regret I will inevitably push you away from me once more out of the selfish fact that I feel unworthy and without value to you. I regret pushing you away in the first place and I regret not giving you the respect that you deserve. I owe you the world but all I’ve given you is tension.

I regret that the way I should be treating you, Bradley, is the way I treat Blake–I regret not treating you the way you should be treated, the way I always know you should’ve been. And Blake, I regret not completely walking away from you in our junior year.

I hate myself for regretting all of this.

Submitted by: Carly

im sorry to justin… for fucking you over after i promised id never hurt you. im sorry for leaving you. and im sorry i wasnt enough for you carl. and im sorry for cheating on you. fred; i know i said i loved you. and i thought i did, and im sorry for cheating on you too, but you cheated on me and it hurt me so bad… youll never know. and jeremy…screw you for leaving me behind like you did, and im sorry i couldnt do everything you asked of me. and im sorry mom for running away and not bein what you wanted but your a sucky mother and you should let me live somewhere else

Submitted by: Ashley [hanni kohl]

I think about you everyday and have for a long time. The connection we have is something special and I realize you said time and patience but I wish you could let me in a little. We could be working on a friendship if nuttin more right now and that invitation for the hike is still open. I would love to be sittin by the campfire and have you appear outta nowhere and just sit with me and talk to me. I promise not to hurt you and yes I am going to back my words. It surprised me that you remembered what brand phone I got, please surprise me again and show up u know where and u know when….

Submitted by: Black Rose

 March 9, 2005- I remember walking into the reptile housing, and seeing all the little green monsters running around, playing, when I opened the cage door, EVERY little iguana darted to the back, except for you Bacchus. You came right to the front and climbed out onto me… I knew someone chose me… And for three more years everything I did, was done with you. I regret not being at the house when you decided to leave, I miss you SOOO badly! Please know that you and you alone were my BEST friend. I love you little dragon! Ta gra agam ort mo chroi! Thank you for saving me when I needed it.

Submitted by: 5toby bauer

I think about you every day, Christine.  I regret what happened between us, but I regret what didn’t happen more… I wish we were still in contact.  I know you have a new job, so good luck.  You know where to reach me if you ever want to.

Submitted by: Mr Next Life

I regret knowing u then and I regret findin u again 10 years later. I don’t understand why one day you’re nice and the next ur kinda rude. I’m gettin the feelin that u purposly don’t want me to know u. I’m afraid that u are in a relationship or are only keepin me around outta fear that somethin may be said about back then. I don’t know but I’m sorry that you don’t know me. I’m gonna walk away, it’s hard cuz, well u know what I said that night when I had too much to drink. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I don’t want to be hurt. I’m sorry, cold fish, for loving you.

Submitted by: In Love With the Nice Asshole

I regret the time I slept with a prostitute. She was an NYU student and clearly didn’t show up to my apartment because she wanted to get laid. She needed money. Her name was Rose (fake name, for sure) and she was a doll, beautiful and intelligent. Turns out, I’m an NYU alum and we had some of the same professors. It made for interesting pre-coital conversation. I should’ve just given her the money and let her watch TV for an hour. Instead I gave it to her good and hard, military and then from behind. Twice. I needed it at the time, and she was a sweetheart about it, faked the orgasm like a pro. I didn’t even have enough cash on hand to give her a handsome tip. If you’re out there, “Rose,” I apologize and hope it all worked out for you in the end.

Submitted by: Big City Al

I’m sorry that you took it all for granted. I’m sorry that I cant forgive you, I’m sorry that in the end for my own good I had to walk away… I’m sorry that we both feel right now but we both deny it and choose to pretend to hate each other.  I’m sorry you and I are not brave enuf to show our true feelings.  We both know what they are deep down. I’m sorry it ended up this way.  I wish we could lock eyes and just know…we do both know though.  We choose to pretend not to care because it is so much easier to admit we hurt.  Your jealously and comments tell me everything. I love you, I always have I just could never tell you that these days.  I’m sorry you are not writing this… I’m sorry wind beneath my wings isn’t about me.  I miss you as much as you miss me. Praying you will think about it…maybe one day say sorry and realize your true feelings.

Submitted by: Anonymous

I’m sorry for hurting you.. i’m sorry for giving up after everything we’d been through, I’m sorry for being crul and finding love with someone else when you were right there, pouring your soul to me. I’m sorry for being blind and that i couldn’t see that what i had before me was good for me. I’m sorry for the pain i caused and the tears i made. I love you still and always will i hope….one day…you can forgive me.

Submitted by: Jessica

im sorry i walked out on our marriage and never got counseling. im sorry i fell in love with someone else. im sorry i lied to you. im sorry i became an addict and stole all of your money. im sorry i lied again and kept taking. im sorry i left you to clean up my mess. i regret i never spent as much effort to find my drug as i should have on us. im sorry i became who i am. i regret that i still miss you, hurt you, and dream about the future we will never have. im so sorry i drug you down with me and youre still the one who has the strength of iron. i love you jim and im sorry.

Submitted by: stinky

im sorry that i went to rehab and got clean. im sorry i havent called, but im fully aware there is or will be another girl buying your next hit. im sorry you were a using friend and we met under sad circumstances and smoked away any relationship that could have been. i regret that i cannot have you in my life anymore. i wish i could be your everything as you become the man i know is in there. im sorry i love you and i regret even more that you love me to.

Submitted by: Sara

I regret acting so foolish and throwing all caution to the wind. I am sorry I asked you to go outside your comfort zone and I hope you don’t think I’m a complete whore for behaving that way. I have never cheated on anyone. I fell for you hard back then and I’m falling hard again. This is a hard time for me right now and I am ashamed of the things I say to you, it’s just that I feel this magnetism toward you. I want to lie in your arms and feel your breath on my neck. You will always have a special place in my heart.

Submitted by: Silly Willy Girl

I regret not to have said “Bonjour” back when we both see each other on the Place Royale. You seem to be such a nice person… I just didn’t understand how lucky I was and I thought you were talking to the family behind me. I saw you twice in the same day maybe the third time will be the good one…I hope so… written in SGL, Yvelinnes, France

Submitted by: Silly-french-brown-hair boy w/ green shirt, mallow trousers, pilot sunglasses

I regret not giving you that note that i wanted to. I regret not apologizing correctly. I’m sorry for all i put you through. I’m sorry things turned out this way. I’m sorry that our first REAL christmas as a family was our last. this is what the note said “Ryan: im sorry things happened the way they did. for all we put you through. but when you asked me to pray for you and mom to stay together, i didnt. instead i prayed that you would heal quickly, and get over us. that you would someday marry, and have that little boy you have always wanted; in spite of everything that YOU have done to me, i still want you to be happy. you deserve that much. and i forgive you.”

Submitted by: Your (ex) step-daughter

I’m so sorry you can’t forgive me. I thought we were close enough, that we mattered to one another enough to forgive. My offense wasn’t that great — I let myself be provoked, got paranoid; it had been a rough week; I am not perfect and don’t mean to be. I reached out to you. I apologized. Was eager to. I’d do so again if you’d talk to me. And while I want you to do what you have to do to feel right in your skin, to feel safe, I think I deserved better.

Submitted by: Colette

Was it a waste of time? Did we learn anything, really? Did we ever love one another? And with enough passion? I thought we did, but now, I don’t know. Was I not who you thought I was? Did we change? Was it circumstance? Were we never very well matched? Why is it I still see you as my husband, when you are not, not now? As my hero, when you aren’t and maybe never were, not really. I burdened you. I did not mean to. You resented me. You couldn’t help it. I believed in for better or for worse. It may be too much to ask of someone – to handle the worst, to want to.

What do we do with this sort of stuff? All the questions and how they run on a loop. You’re not here anymore, with me, within reach. None of your stuff is here. My closest friend. The person who knows me best. Who knows my body, sick and healthy. Now we have to work hard at being strangers. At space and distance.  At keeping secrets. At fending off memories, too much intimacy. It is the oddest thing. Cruel. More often than not, love is no gift, no salvation. It’s a test of your mettle. It’s work. It’s letting go of things, letting go of him over and over.

Submitted by: Divorcée

Gloria F, I regret not raping you in that hotel room. What kind of woman makes out with someone, agrees to go to a hotel, strips and then changes her mind? Only the fact that people knew where you were and that even the hint of an arrest would have ended my job prevented me from killing you on the spot. Congratulations, you’re still alive.

Submitted by: D